My Personal Childhood Web

Who has made me feel cared for, nurtured, special and loved?
     
I'm somewhat saddened by the fact that more names don't jump to mind, with beautiful memories, stories, and photos.  My memory begins around 14, so I couldn't tell you about early childhood, and unfortunately, my memory picks up during adolescence, a time when I think many of us struggle with feeling loved, supported and special. But, here goes...

At about 15 I met my best friend, Kathy. Twenty five years later, she has never left my side, has always been a source of support, kindness, and understanding. When I think of family, she is my sister despite genetics. She is ever supportive, non-judgmental, and a person I am now honored to raise my child near because she treats my son with the same tenderness. She encourages my passions and takes them on as her own... she even refers to the museum as "ours", which I love.

At about the same time, I was introduced to a particularly wonderful therapist, Wanda. I remember my first meeting with her. It was cold outside and I was driving a new-ish car. Despite my refusal to talk for the entire 50 minutes, she followed me out to my car to see that I got there safe. It was there that she earned my trust and respect. She simple stated, "Oh I have a Honda too. Let me show you a trick a learned last week for defrosting really fast." No ground breaking insights into my psyche here, but she met me where I was and made me feel accepted. From then on, any time I met with her I knew that she was on my side, was there for ME, and cared about my well being. She made me want to be a counselor, and I've often modeled my professional demeanor after her.

This is not to say that my mom and dad were not supportive, it is simply that I wasn't able to feel supported by them. They provided for all my physical and developmental needs, but the divide was too great, and it was not until adulthood that I was able to see that their helplessness and feeling overwhelmed effected our relationship and my understanding of their support.

So, there's my web. A little fractured and full of gaps, but the lines that there were strong and have supported my well.  Now, as an adult my web continues to grow and shares lines with my son's web of support.  His will have gaps, just like all of ours do, but understanding my own gives me greater insight into how to mitigate gaps in his. And it starts with me, loving him irrationally, unconditionally, and enough to supplement my own support with others for him.