My Connections to Play

Priority Play Items:

 

 

 Play In My Childhood

I don't actually remember my early childhood, but I know my brother was always there. He was my ever-present playmate. From photos, I see us dressing up, playing with dolls and lots and lots of Legos (we still have the Legos). My mom says she wasn't much of a playmate for us, but when my father was home (Air Force pilot), he would drop whatever he was doing to play with us if we asked.

Play Today

Play is a reflection of the condition of society. Sixty years ago my grandparents sent my parents out after breakfast with instructions not to return until dark. Neighbors watched out for each others children. Thirty years ago my brother and I had the run of the neighborhood, we played in a drainage ditch behind our house, and our parents knew where we were. Today, children play inside fenced yards or indoors; unattended children are met with curiosity and concern, or reported to police. Society has shaped the way children (are allowed to) play. Play has become more technological; given a figure or stuffed animal, a child is likely to ask "How do you make it work?" or "What does it do?".

Lifelong Play

Play should be a part of every portion of our lives, every day if possible. For some it's sports or instruments, art or hiking. For others its crosswords and puzzles. I love games and playing in the ocean. My young son reminds me everyday to play, and we do. Whether we're playing Mouse Trap for the 64th time (yes, that was my day today, and I kid you not on the number), cleaning up, or getting ready for bed, we are playing. We smile, laugh, test ourselves, challenge each other, get too rough, apologize, and jump right back in. 

Never stop playing.

Reflecting on the Reflection...

Relationship Reflection

Relationship is an experience between people. It is being connected. We strive for good relationships, positive connections, and hope to avoid the rest. However, it is not just the good that bring us to who we become. It is the experience of all relationships, good and bad, that guide, inform, and change us.

As a child my family moved around a lot due to my father's position in the military. My relationships were primarily within my home: mother, father, brother, and dog. Not so say I didn't have friends, but I wasn't good at making them (the bane of the introvert), the few I had were strong, but all eventually ended.

In high school I struggled with personal issues (they joys of being a teenager coupled with the atrocities of others) and found it difficult to trust. However a friendship developed that has lasted (eek) 25 years. Kathy has been friend, sister, confidant, and continues to be. We accept one another at our "worst", we cheer for each other, and can communicate honestly and deeply. Her relationship, connection, has been life saving and empowering reciprocally.

My partner of 8 years and I recently separated. The relationship that we had pre-child did not sustain us post-child. Our needs and priorities shifted, but not in congruous ways.  I moved our son and myself from Oregon to Georgia to be nearer my family and my friend. Despite an up and down relationship with my parents, they support and love me and my son. Without this relationship, I'm not sure where my son and I would be today.

Now, within a multigenerational houseshold, the relationships within my family have shifted again. I am mother and daughter under a singular roof. My mother and I communicate, or rather commiserate, over challenges with my father, who's only fault is adoring my son. My relationship with my father is strained though, because of this. It's my own inability to communicate my needs and frustrations with the situation that strain the relationship.

My fondest relationship is with my son. We motivate, encourage, and love one another honestly. He is my greatest cheerleader, shares dreams of opening a museum, and accepts me. He guides my vision for the future, personally and professionally. He pushes me to step outside my comfort zone every day, and kisses my boo boos when I fall.

In relationship we are all greater than alone; more than the sum of our parts. Relationships challenge us to growth and offer opportunities to reciprocate the best of one another.