Relationship Reflection

Relationship is an experience between people. It is being connected. We strive for good relationships, positive connections, and hope to avoid the rest. However, it is not just the good that bring us to who we become. It is the experience of all relationships, good and bad, that guide, inform, and change us.

As a child my family moved around a lot due to my father's position in the military. My relationships were primarily within my home: mother, father, brother, and dog. Not so say I didn't have friends, but I wasn't good at making them (the bane of the introvert), the few I had were strong, but all eventually ended.

In high school I struggled with personal issues (they joys of being a teenager coupled with the atrocities of others) and found it difficult to trust. However a friendship developed that has lasted (eek) 25 years. Kathy has been friend, sister, confidant, and continues to be. We accept one another at our "worst", we cheer for each other, and can communicate honestly and deeply. Her relationship, connection, has been life saving and empowering reciprocally.

My partner of 8 years and I recently separated. The relationship that we had pre-child did not sustain us post-child. Our needs and priorities shifted, but not in congruous ways.  I moved our son and myself from Oregon to Georgia to be nearer my family and my friend. Despite an up and down relationship with my parents, they support and love me and my son. Without this relationship, I'm not sure where my son and I would be today.

Now, within a multigenerational houseshold, the relationships within my family have shifted again. I am mother and daughter under a singular roof. My mother and I communicate, or rather commiserate, over challenges with my father, who's only fault is adoring my son. My relationship with my father is strained though, because of this. It's my own inability to communicate my needs and frustrations with the situation that strain the relationship.

My fondest relationship is with my son. We motivate, encourage, and love one another honestly. He is my greatest cheerleader, shares dreams of opening a museum, and accepts me. He guides my vision for the future, personally and professionally. He pushes me to step outside my comfort zone every day, and kisses my boo boos when I fall.

In relationship we are all greater than alone; more than the sum of our parts. Relationships challenge us to growth and offer opportunities to reciprocate the best of one another.