Making Connections

     I feel a bit like I'm dancing two steps behind the beat this week. I've had a son with croup keeping me on "breathing" alert for the several days, and now have the added bonus of his father in town for a visit. Halloween spookiness has nothing on my life right now.

     However, in order to establish connections internationally I have made two contacts: one with a previous classmate from Foundations who I hope to hear back from shortly; and another with a contact made at this year's Association for Children's Museums (actually reached out to two, and have two tentative acceptances from South Africa and Curacao).

     For the second part of this week's blog assignment, I have chose to focus on ZERO TO THREE. While I had initially thought about following the NAEYC website, I decided that ZERO TO THREE's focus on connection, and fostering connections between family and children resonates most strongly with my interests in empathy development in children. Family is our early connections, and also our earliest and most consistent opportunity for developing social-emotional skills. My hope is that by exploring this organization more fully and more consistently, I will develop ideas to support the development of my own future program.

My Supports

People...

• My family: After separating from my partner a year ago, my parents have become more of a support that I could have imagined. My son and I are able to live with them and share meals every day. My parents offer my son and I love, companionship, acceptance, and support. 
• My son: At just four, my son is a huge support to me. He gives love and accepts love. He encourages me and challenges me. He gives me an alternate lens though which to view the world, one that pushes me towards my goals. Me reminds me to play and relax, which support my need for self-care. 
• My employer: After my son was born, my employer allowed me to bring my child to work a day a week, and to work from home another day. This supported my need to immerse myself in my role as "mother" while also paying the bills. Now, after 5 years with the company, they have allowed me to be their first remote employee; despite being across the country, they have allowed me to maintain a paycheck and a professional identity/sense of purpose. 
• My friends: I don't have many, but those I have are invaluable. Kathy, me nearest and dearest, provides unconditional love and support. She is my sounding board and my cheerleader. She also allows me to be a friend, to be silly, to sneak wine into the movie theater, and to dream about vacations to come.

Places...

• My son's pre-school: I never thought I would say those words. I always intended to home-school him entirely, but he needs more consistent peer interaction than I can provide him. They support me by supporting his needs, and by giving me 9 hours a week to work out, shower without a ear-perked for screams, and get a little homework done. In addition, the school is a support to me by giving me peace of mind that my child is in a safe environment where he is able to learn, grow, and develop relationships.
• My school: Walden supports my academic and professional goals by providing classes and professors that challenge me to learn and grow.

Things...

• My computer: Without it online learning would be out of the picture, and my academic goals would need to be drastically changed (or abandoned). And I wouldn't be able to maintain my employment.
• My phone: I kinda hate to admit it, but my phone is on my 90% of my waking hours. I use it for grocery lists, email, quick texts, staying in touch with friends, occupying my son in a pinch, and having access to my car insurance when I forget to print my card.  
• My glasses/contacts: Every year my vision gets a little worse and a little harder to correct. My glasses/contacts allow me to keep driving, read without headaches, and have a more accurate picture of the world.

What if... I had a chronic or life limiting illness. Some things I would need might include:

• Emotional supports: Increased time spent in doctor appointments or in recovery phases would likely require additional emotional support. Likely a counselor, support group, or another healthcare provider would be of great emotional support; providing me with guidance related to my illness, resources for coping, and a space to vent outside of my family and friends. I would likely need to rely more upon my family to aid in caring for my son (and for me at times). Knowing that me is in loving hands would give me peace of mind and energy to focus on healing.
• Practical supports: Practical supports might include really good health insurance coverage; and a trusted healthcare provider and system.
• Physical supports: Medical supplies to support function and quality of life (shower chair, wheelchair, etc); physical therapy or occupational therapy; and a schedule that allows flexibility needed to accommodate health changes.

My Connections to Play

Priority Play Items:

 

 

 Play In My Childhood

I don't actually remember my early childhood, but I know my brother was always there. He was my ever-present playmate. From photos, I see us dressing up, playing with dolls and lots and lots of Legos (we still have the Legos). My mom says she wasn't much of a playmate for us, but when my father was home (Air Force pilot), he would drop whatever he was doing to play with us if we asked.

Play Today

Play is a reflection of the condition of society. Sixty years ago my grandparents sent my parents out after breakfast with instructions not to return until dark. Neighbors watched out for each others children. Thirty years ago my brother and I had the run of the neighborhood, we played in a drainage ditch behind our house, and our parents knew where we were. Today, children play inside fenced yards or indoors; unattended children are met with curiosity and concern, or reported to police. Society has shaped the way children (are allowed to) play. Play has become more technological; given a figure or stuffed animal, a child is likely to ask "How do you make it work?" or "What does it do?".

Lifelong Play

Play should be a part of every portion of our lives, every day if possible. For some it's sports or instruments, art or hiking. For others its crosswords and puzzles. I love games and playing in the ocean. My young son reminds me everyday to play, and we do. Whether we're playing Mouse Trap for the 64th time (yes, that was my day today, and I kid you not on the number), cleaning up, or getting ready for bed, we are playing. We smile, laugh, test ourselves, challenge each other, get too rough, apologize, and jump right back in. 

Never stop playing.

Reflecting on the Reflection...

Relationship Reflection

Relationship is an experience between people. It is being connected. We strive for good relationships, positive connections, and hope to avoid the rest. However, it is not just the good that bring us to who we become. It is the experience of all relationships, good and bad, that guide, inform, and change us.

As a child my family moved around a lot due to my father's position in the military. My relationships were primarily within my home: mother, father, brother, and dog. Not so say I didn't have friends, but I wasn't good at making them (the bane of the introvert), the few I had were strong, but all eventually ended.

In high school I struggled with personal issues (they joys of being a teenager coupled with the atrocities of others) and found it difficult to trust. However a friendship developed that has lasted (eek) 25 years. Kathy has been friend, sister, confidant, and continues to be. We accept one another at our "worst", we cheer for each other, and can communicate honestly and deeply. Her relationship, connection, has been life saving and empowering reciprocally.

My partner of 8 years and I recently separated. The relationship that we had pre-child did not sustain us post-child. Our needs and priorities shifted, but not in congruous ways.  I moved our son and myself from Oregon to Georgia to be nearer my family and my friend. Despite an up and down relationship with my parents, they support and love me and my son. Without this relationship, I'm not sure where my son and I would be today.

Now, within a multigenerational houseshold, the relationships within my family have shifted again. I am mother and daughter under a singular roof. My mother and I communicate, or rather commiserate, over challenges with my father, who's only fault is adoring my son. My relationship with my father is strained though, because of this. It's my own inability to communicate my needs and frustrations with the situation that strain the relationship.

My fondest relationship is with my son. We motivate, encourage, and love one another honestly. He is my greatest cheerleader, shares dreams of opening a museum, and accepts me. He guides my vision for the future, personally and professionally. He pushes me to step outside my comfort zone every day, and kisses my boo boos when I fall.

In relationship we are all greater than alone; more than the sum of our parts. Relationships challenge us to growth and offer opportunities to reciprocate the best of one another.

A new term begins, so remember...

Onward and Upward: Effective Programs and Practices is up next

Thank you Rasmussen College for allowing me to borrow your beautiful quote.

Quotes

Wrapping up a course in Early Childhood Development, this seemed like an appropriate quote to end on. My son, who is 4, told me: 

"I wish that I could know the whole world, but I couldn't. I don't know it. I don't know the names of it." 

He is so full of wonder, and his mind is moving so quickly acquiring and assimilating information. 
I like this one too:

"Education is not filling of a pail but the lighting of a fire."

William Butler Yeats