Communication Evaluation

It always amazes me how different we can be from the ways that others see us. 

For instance, in being asked to assessment my own listening, communication anxiety, and aggressiveness, I found my scores/styles, fairly close to how I see myself. I tend to be person focused (sometimes to a fault), anxious in small and large groups when the focus is on me, and stray from aggressiveness and confrontation. Sure, I fantasize about making sharp witted comments when people offend me, but typically, my response is much more banal. 

However, it seems that others see me a little differently, and even differently between them. For instance, my mother who has "known" me my entire life, assessed my comfort in groups much differently than I did. She felt that this was a context in which I was quite comfortable as I tend to present myself well (despite the flop sweat pit stains that typically accompany me). However, my best friend, assessed my internal processes (anxiety, fear) more accurately, but agree with my mother on my external presentation. Both assessed me fairly similarly on aggressiveness and listening, as both have been on the receiving end of numerous conversations with me. Both are aware of my dislike for conflict and aggression, and feel that my listening skills serve me well in person-to-person communications. 

Honestly, it's nice to know that I come across more confident than I feel in small and large group interactions. It seems I hold my own. I tend to use humor when i'm nervous, and thank goodness this is typically socially acceptable and seen not as anxiety-based, but rather sociability. It gives me a little more confidence, knowing that my internal experience is not outting me to the group. Yet, likely not enough confidence to EVER make group or public speaking something that I enjoy.