Time Well Spent

The last eight weeks (this course and the end of the program combined) have been rich with insights, challenges, and plans for the future.



Three of the most important learning points that I will take with me on my continued journey are: the value of dissecting our plans and passions into manageable pieces; identifying a community of practice that can support and strengthen our individual work; and the value of appropriate leadership to further a program or cause.


While I still struggle greatly with some of the practical aspects of my goals (mostly the money bit), I know that having a strong knowledge base and ability to research, communicate, and advocate, will be important parts of meeting my goals. As will identifying others who are passionate about these same goals. This stretches my introverted self a bit, but strengthens me and my program as I benefit from the knowledge, experience and resources of those who started before me. And finally, I have a truer appreciation for the role of leadership. I have in the past shied away from this role, however, insights in this course have shown me that leadership is not defined exclusively by the leader, but by the needs and skills of the team. The leader must be responsive to these needs, and work in service of the program and it's people, rather than trying to make the program/team meet the needs of leadership.

I have a couple long term goals that I hope to continue working towards:

• The development of a children's discovery center/play cafe hybrid where children and families can connect meaningfully with each other and the environment to support the social and emotional development of all. 
• The development of an empathy based book series that is choose your own adventure style, encouraging children to practice making prosocial decisions, and developing empathy for others by introducing them to diverse populations and situations. 
• Connecting with local groups that serve children and families in diverse ways in order to strengthen the community of practice that is passionate about children, empathy, and whole child development. 

And finally, I would like to thank Dr Ernst and my peers who have thoughtfully shared their experiences, challenges, goals and passions this term. Without your support, guidance, and facilitation, I would not have a clearer vision of my future and the future of the EC field. Thank you. As an outsider (not a teacher) you all have taught me so much and I am grateful to you all.




I look forward to hear about how your journeys continue, and off my supports at any time. Please feel free to contact me at sarahjmaisey@gmail.com or on facebook at sarahmaisey@yahoo.com (Sarah Maisey).

International Organizations Supporting Social Emotional Development

International organizations that are leading the way in promoting empathy and social emotional development in children are Ashoka, Roots of Empathy, International Play Association, and the International Child Art Foundation.

Ashoka is an international group of changemakers and entrepreneurs who are focused on creating change through empathy. The groups partners with and supports groups and programs that are committed to positive change for societies through fostering empathy and social emotional skills.  The Start Empathy initiative focuses on “working with young people to make empathy a priority skill for all children”. In addition, they partner with empactico.org, and organization that connects classrooms globally to promote meaningful interactions between children of diverse cultures and communities.

Roots of Empathy is another international organization that recognizes the power of empathy. Roots of Empathy, and the children’s initiative, Seeds of Empathy, offers empathy based programs for children.The programs currently “help children develop empathy and emotional literacy in 11 countries”.

International Play Association is an “interdisciplinary non-governmental organization, providing an international forum and advocacy for the promotion of play opportunities”. The group is formed and based in Article 31 of The Convention of the Rights of the Child, which supports a child’s “right to rest and leisure, to engage in play and recreational activities appropriate to the age of the child, and to participate freely in cultural life and the arts”. Through play children explore their world, relationships with others, and themselves: social emotional learning.

International Child Art Foundation aspires to grow “schoolchildren's imagination and empower them to democratize creativity and develop empathy universally for sustainable prosperity and lasting peace”. By connecting children from diverse communities through art, the foundation serves to unite children and communities through creativity, empathy, and inclusion.

For more information, follow the links below!

Ashoka: https://www.ashoka.org/en/focus/every-child-practicing-empathy

Roots of Empathy: http://rootsofempathy.org/ or http://rootsofempathy.org/seeds-of-empathy/

International Play Association: http://ipaworld.org/

International Child Art Foundation: https://www.icaf.org/

National and Federal Level ECE Communities

On a national level, there are a number of organizations that are interested in supporting the social-emotional development of young children. The following are three in particular that appeal to my interests and passions in the field.

Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning (CSEFEL)
This national group based out of Vanderbilt University has state partners in a number of states, however, Georgia is not yet one of them. Seems like room for growth! CSEFEL is specifically interested in supporting the social-emotional development of children birth to 5 years. The Pyramid Model is based in evidence-based practices targeted at increasing social competence and addressing challenging or at-risk behaviors. The organization offers a wealth of free resources and information for educators, caregivers,  and parents. At this time the organization does not have any openings listed (through Vanderbilt University Human Resources), however being a trainer or coach for this organization would be fascinating, as it would allow direct influence on children and families, supporting the community by supporting the children within it.


The Technical Assistance Center on Social Emotional Intervention for Young Children (TACSEI) “takes the research that shows which practices improve the social-emotional outcomes for young children with, or at risk for, delays or disabilities and creates FREE products and resources to help decision-makers, caregivers, and service providers apply these best practices in the work they do every day”. TACSEI bases it’s work on the CSEFEL Pyramid Model as well, and is linked with the organization. The primary functions of TACSEI are research synthesis and dissemination; collaborative partnerships; consulting; providing technical assistance with model delivery; product creation; and distance or e-learning opportunities. Again, at this time there appear to be no job listings for this group, however, they are sponsoring an upcoming conference, the 15th Annual National Institute on Effective Practices: Addressing Challenging Behavior. Volunteering to a help at this conference would be an ideal way to learn more about the organization, meet important players within the organization, and develop partnerships with both this organization and others that they collaborate with.

Finally, Ashoka is an international organization dedicated to supporting young changemakers who are interested in creating positive change for society. One area of focus for the group is Every Child Practicing Empathy. According to the organization’s website, “Effective collaboration in this [global] environment is only possible with empathy: the ability to understand and respond to the feelings of others. In a changemaker world, empathy is as fundamental as reading and math. This creates a new social imperative to ensure that every child fully develops their own innate capacity for empathy”. Ashoka sponsors Changemaker Schools in which “students are learning the essential skills of empathy, creativity, thoughtfulness, leadership, and teamwork so that they can thrive in the modern world and find solutions to our most complex problems”. In addition, Ashoka sponsors the Start Empathy Initiative which develops and disseminates research and resources related to fostering empathy and kindness in young children.

These organizations represent just a few of the groups who are dedicated to creating a kinder world by supporting the social-emotional development of young children.

References:

Ashoka. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.ashoka.org/en

Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations of Early Learning. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/

Technical Assistance Center on Social Emotional Intervention. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://challengingbehavior.fmhi.usf.edu/

Communities of Practice

Three organizations that appeal to my passion for early childhood social-emotional development include: Voices for Georgia's Children, the Georgia Association for the Education of Young Children, and the Easter Seals of North Georgia.  Each group is dedicated to the health, safety, education, and well-being of children, and each group strongly identifies social-emotional development as a major contributor to a child's overall healthy development and life success.

Voices for Georgia's Children describes a vision/mission of "promo(ing) equity, quality, and accessibility in systems created to serve children’s needs.  Our work advances policies and implementation actions that ensure the best possible outcomes for children.  Voices’ vision is that all children in Georgia will thrive because they are safe, healthy, educated, connected to family and community, and prepared to be productive and responsible citizens.". They maintain four strategic areas, the second of which is  to "increase the availability of quality out-of-school time opportunities and promote the social and emotional development of children". This strategic area, along with the overall mission of the group, resonates strongly with my own concerns and passions for fostering social-emotional and empathy development in young children. The group is multidisciplinary and maintains relationships with "public officials, advocates, and policy experts at all levels of government". Voices is currently seeking a Communications Manager. This role is "charged with using a variety of communication channels to promote the organization’s priorities and will play a significant role in implementing the organization’s overall communications strategy". Ideal candidates will posses strong multi-modal communication skills, and "thrive in a fast paced environment". While my communication skills are strong, in order to be considered for this position, I would want to increase my web and social media skills, as my experiences with these are primarily personal, and not professional.

The Georgia Association for the Education of Young Children is an affiliate of the NAEYC and "supports the education and development of Georgia’s young children ages birth – 8". Most appealing was a link that I found to a past event: GAEYC Infant-Toddler Super Saturday. The event is described as "Are you an infant-toddler teacher looking for new ideas to support children’s social-emotional development and guide their behavior?" Y.E.S. If only it hadn't already occurred! However, based on the fact that this type of event is sponsored by the group, I feel that this would be a strong community of practice to be involved in. Strengthening Georgia Families is a multidisciplinary partnership administered by the GAEYC and aims to strengthen children and families through specific domains related to parenting and social-emotional skill development of young children. While no employment opportunities are currently listed for either group, multiple opportunities for volunteering exist and range from short term conference helpers to longer term board membership.


Easter Seals of North Georgia has an Early Childhood Social/Emotional Development Program which "target(s) children ages three to five who exhibit aggressive behavior, need additional support in developing pro-social skills or are considered “at risk” due to exposure to a number of demographic risk factors". The program is based in a "comprehensive curriculum designed to promote social competence and prevent, reduce and treat aggression and related conduct problems in young children". The organization currently lists multiple opportunities for employment as Lead Teachers, Family Support Advocates, Head Start Teachers, and Physical, Speech, and Occupational Therapists. In addition, the agency is seeking a Special Instructor/Early Interventionist for their Babies Can't Wait program aimed at supporting the healthy development and well-being of children with developmental delays and disabilities. With a background in both Mental Health Counseling and Early Childhood Studies, this may be an ideal position, enabling me to work directly with families and children in developing strong family bonds, the precursor to healthy social-emotional development.

For Endings and Beginnings

I'm not a religious person, but the poetry and blessings of John O'Donohue have always called to me in group work. So, for the closing of my work with this fine group of students/peers/friends, I would like to share this blessing with you.

Blessing for a New Beginning by John O'Donohue

In out of the way places of the heart
Where your thoughts never think to wander
This beginning has been quietly forming
Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

For a long time it has watched your desire
Feeling the emptiness grow inside you
Noticing how you willed yourself on
Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

It watched you play with the seduction of safety
And the grey promises that sameness whispered
Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent
Wondered would you always live like this.

Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
And out you stepped onto new ground,
Your eyes young again with energy and dream
A path of plenitude opening before you.

Though your destination is not clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is one with your life’s desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.

For all of you who have shared this academic journey with me so far, I wish you continued courage, energy, dreams and a plenitude of openings. Unfurl, awaken and hold nothing back, for you, my friends are the gatekeepers of the future, guiding the next generation into a world that holds endless opportunity for kindness, compassion, openness and love.  Thank you for sharing the journey with me thus far. I hope to hear and see more of you in the future.

Adjourning

Thinking back on the groups that I have led, either long running support groups or one time only groups such as a psycho-education group or a memorial service, the closing phase has always been one of my favorites. It is a time of reflection, of honoring the work done together, and building a bridge to the world outside of the group.

For some groups, this is a hard time, filled with mixed feelings of loss and relief: the 'hard' work is done, the vulnerability of the group is over, but the relationships built within the group are often over too. For other groups, perhaps those that met with less frequency or less intensity or those that were less cohesive, the closing phase is less intense and may be more celebratory in feel.

In either case the use of ritual has always been a part of my group closings. The ritual could be something as simple as a a poem, or encouraging members to share parting words of gratitude to one another. Or the ritual could be more elaborate such as sharing a meal, a balloon or butterfly release, or the group creation of a takeaway item.

Traditionally at the end of a school program, a graduation ceremony is the final part of the adjourning phase. However, in the virtual classroom, this is not always part of the graduation experience. My last Master's program ended rather unceremoniously, and I imagine that this one will too, particularly as the class is about to split into specializations and those whom I have made relationships with during this phase of my study may not be with me in the end. However, I have found that in some cases, the adjourning can be "completed" independently through individual rituals. It may be a thank you sent to those peers who have impacted me the most, or raising a glass to them at the end of the program. I'm not yet sure of how this program will close out, and at this point, I don't imagine myself taking on the role of facilitating a group closing ritual, however I'm interested in hearing what others might be thinking on the topic!

Resolving Conflict

It's been a difficult couple of weeks. My tension level has been high, and my tolerance levels low. Some of this stems from interpersonal conflict, and some from other pieces of m life. Yet it seems all of my interactions have been affected.

Recently my son and I were headed home from a play date. It had been a wonderful afternoon. Yet his mood was suddenly foul. He was tearful about leaving the play date (something different for him), wanted to eat at a favorite spot, then refused to eat anything once we were there. He was short with me, blamed me for every bump in the road, and all in all made the experience really unpleasant. On the way home I notice he is falling asleep next to me in the golf cart, not an easy task considering the state of the path in places, and I realize he is exhausted. He was asleep by 6:15 pm (and awake by 5:00 am the next morning....arg).

Needless to say, the combination of his internal experience and my internal experience were not conducive for anything other than discord.  Being the adult in the situation, finding the resolution comes to me.

Gerber's second R (of respect, responsiveness, and relationship) would have been a great first start: observing his behaviors and responding to them without judgement. Second, awareness and acknowledgement of the effects of my internal states would have helped to tease apart some of the reality of the situation from the baggage I was bringing to it. And finally, by using some of the tenets of nonviolent communication (emphatically listening and honestly expressing), it is possible that my son and I would have been able to enjoy our evening instead of arguing and finding only frustration in one another's presence.

Communication Evaluation

It always amazes me how different we can be from the ways that others see us. 

For instance, in being asked to assessment my own listening, communication anxiety, and aggressiveness, I found my scores/styles, fairly close to how I see myself. I tend to be person focused (sometimes to a fault), anxious in small and large groups when the focus is on me, and stray from aggressiveness and confrontation. Sure, I fantasize about making sharp witted comments when people offend me, but typically, my response is much more banal. 

However, it seems that others see me a little differently, and even differently between them. For instance, my mother who has "known" me my entire life, assessed my comfort in groups much differently than I did. She felt that this was a context in which I was quite comfortable as I tend to present myself well (despite the flop sweat pit stains that typically accompany me). However, my best friend, assessed my internal processes (anxiety, fear) more accurately, but agree with my mother on my external presentation. Both assessed me fairly similarly on aggressiveness and listening, as both have been on the receiving end of numerous conversations with me. Both are aware of my dislike for conflict and aggression, and feel that my listening skills serve me well in person-to-person communications. 

Honestly, it's nice to know that I come across more confident than I feel in small and large group interactions. It seems I hold my own. I tend to use humor when i'm nervous, and thank goodness this is typically socially acceptable and seen not as anxiety-based, but rather sociability. It gives me a little more confidence, knowing that my internal experience is not outting me to the group. Yet, likely not enough confidence to EVER make group or public speaking something that I enjoy. 

Myself in your shoes

Every day I come into situations with people from groups and cultures different from my own. Most days I have opportunity to consider what I would want or do if I were in their place. I ask my son to try to do the same, or to remember that we can't fully know where someone is internally that day. And while I thought I was doing a good job, maybe I can go a step farther. Maybe if makes more sense, as Bennett's Platinum Rule suggests, to consider another's situation from their own perspective, rather than my own.

Herein lies the challenge. None of us can ever truly know the experience (internal and external) of another. And most of us, on an average occasion, don't try too hard to put in more than necessary to get our own point across, much less taking the time and energy to accurately and fully understand the needs of another. However, many conflicts could be avoided or at least lessened if we (myself included) went the extra step to use the rule and treat others as they would want to be treated. This type of communion between two people requires each to have the knowledge, motivation, and skills to communicate inter-culturally.

The first step is to develop self-reflection and an awareness of what we do and do not know about another person, their culture, and their experience. It also requires attention to nonverbal communication dynamics (such as proximity, eye contact, tone, and volume), as well as verbal communication dynamics (word choice, avoidance of sarcasm, euphemisms, and other things that might not translate accurately).

Not every situation is going to go smoothly, and not every group is going to be able to find a place of open and honest communion based in empathetic understanding. In these cases, the development of a third culture might be necessary. In my daily life, my father provides me with the most relevant experience of inter-cultural communication challenges. Remembering that he is from a culture and group different from my own (conservative vs liberal, cohort differences, male vs female, religious vs nonreligious, etc), and trying to first use the rule may benefit our communication. Avoiding my own defenses and fears, and understanding that his communication has more to do with him and his experience than with me and mine may help in developing more effective communication as well as decreasing conflict. However, where this is not effective, we may have to simply agree to be different, but find common ground and common communication to meet at, thereby developing a third culture for our relationship.

Muted Relationships

     This week, we were asked to view a television show that we had never seen before, but to view it on mute. The point was to observe individuals and the relationships between them, form some assumptions and then re-view the program and assess your assumptions. For this exercise I initially though of watching a children's show, out of curiosity as to what subtle messages are being imparted, but ended up watching "Schitt's Creek", a series on Amazon staring Eugene Levy and Catherine O'Hara. The only knowledge of the series that I had prior to viewing was "The Rose family must relocate to a small town Johnny once bought as a joke" (Amazon, 2017).
     My initial assessment of the series characters is that the family (mother, father and 2 adult children) is highly affluent, but due to some legal issue, their home and possessions are confiscated, and the family is forced to take up residence in a small town motel. The family appears to be close, however under considerable stress. The two adult children appear to interact with one another, and with others to a large degree, as if they were adolescents. The adult daughter appears to be the princess of the family. The mother and father appear as a unit, with the father being somewhat passive and the mother being the primary voice of the family. No physical contact was demonstrated, either loving or nurturing or negative, yet the family gave the impression of one that cares for one anther (in a petulant teenagery kind of way). The additional primary role in the series is a scruffy, "local-yokel" appearing man from the town (Chris Elliott), who appears to initially help the family find residence in the motel, but quickly tramples boundaries and becomes an antagonist for the family. 
     After veiwing the series with dialog intact, my basic assumptions about the show were correct. The family, though very sarcastic and clearly under considerable stress, does appear to care for one another. The mother is the matriarchal powerhouse of the family (at it appears that it was her company that was seized due to tax evasion by their financial manager), yet she and her spouse remained a united front throughout the episode. The adult son and daughter both react to situations and one another in very adolescent ways with name calling, "shut-up" fights, and sarcasm. The one person that I misjudged the most was the scruffy local, who turned out to be the mayor, however I was correct in my assumptions related to his boundaries. 
     This was an interesting exercise, and one that I think would be interesting in repeating with different kinds of programs, particularly children's programs as children tend to be very observant of non-verbal communication. 

Competent Communicator

From my point of view, in order to be a good communicator you have to be both listener and speaker. I know a lot of good listeners, and a lot of good speakers, but very few hold both in high amounts.

One person, however, is a friend and former co-worker, Lori. Lori has served as a hospice chaplain for many years. She is soft spoken, yet holds her audience's attention, and can command a formidable audience when called for. She is articulate, educated, and well read, so she is able to hold conversations on a variety of topics with confidence and effectiveness. However, she is also familiar with popular culture, issues of diversity, and is therefore able to connect with individuals and families who may come from outside the dominant culture. She is a skilled active listener, demonstrating understanding, attentiveness, and empathy, and does this both verbally and non-verbally.

A good listener listens more than they speak. And  good speaker speaks with economy and deliberateness. Lori is able to balance these actions, and was an excellent role model for my beginning work in hospice.

Thank you Lori!

Professional hopes and goals

My hope is that what I have learned over the last 8 weeks will be the starting point for change in the lives that I affect. I hope that, through a commitment to equity and inclusion, I can facilitate can help to better the lives of ALL families that I serve with an awareness towards the unique needs of each and the discrimination or oppression that may underlie those needs.

A goal I would like to set for the field of early childhood education is a commitment to proactive rather than reactive equity and inclusion. If we are teaching and modeling anti-bias education every day from day one, we are communicating the importance of this to families, the communities we serve, and to the population at large. We don't have to wait for diversity to walk through our center doors before we begin teaching it's importance.

I would like to thank each of my peers/colleagues who have contributed to my learning and experience over the last 8 weeks. Your willingness to share vulnerable moments in your life related to discrimination has given each of us an opportunity for greater growth and empathy. Your compassionate and caring responses to one another reinforces the possibility of dismantling stereotypes, biases, discrimination and oppression. Thank you each for your thoughtfulness, your insights, your encouragement, and your kindness to one another. It's been an honor to grow and to share with each of you.

Welcoming Families from Around the World

Twice this week I have been confronted by Sweden. First, in reading a new book to my son, we were introduced to a Swedish girl, then again while browsing the book store I came upon multiple books regarding Hygge (a danish word for a moment of happiness), and how to live like the happiest people on earth. It struck me that I know very little about this culture, and that Danes who immigrate to the US may be overlooked or marginalized due to Caucasian appearance, fluency in English language (many Swedes are fluent in multiple languages due to an excellent educational system), and therefore the assumption that they are not in need of assistance in acclimation or have equity issues. So, were I to be welcoming a Swedish family there are a couple of points I would want to pay close attention to in order to be culturally responsive:

1. Language. While English is compulsory for all Swedish students (and has been since the mid 1900's), multiple languages are spoken in Sweden and it would be important to understand which the family is most comfortable with, ie, what they speak at home. Regardless of family fluency in English, I would be important to have access to a translator who is familiar with the dialect and can assist both in and outside of the facility as needed. 
2. Names. Ensure that I and my staff are able to correctly pronounce all family names. Care should be taken not to shorten or nickname the child for staff ease or comfort. As names are linked with identity, as is country of origin, it would be important to show respect by  proper pronunciation (and awareness of meaning) of names. 
3. Swedish cultural awareness. It would be valuable to have a working knowledge of the country's history, both recent and distant. This provides a framework for understanding the family, their previous experience, and general worldview. Care should be taken, however, to refrain from making the family the cultural representatives for the Swedish culture as this is an unfair and inappropriate burden.
4. Family cultural awareness. Awareness of Swedish culture is not enough. While becoming familiar with foods, dress, and language are a start, it would be important to understand the family as a unique entity. What are the values related to family structure, children, education, authority, and happiness? What beliefs does the family hold with regard to ECE, gender, race, religion, etc? How can the EC facility best support the family values, beliefs and goals? This would require direct communication with the family, if possible in their own home, as this would provide the fullest picture of family life as well as communicate interest, respect, and partnership. 
5. Ensuring that the environment represents all families. This is as important for the new family as it is for the current ones. Families who enter the environment should be met with images and materials that reflect the diversity of the group, not only as an attempt to be seen and heard, but as an attempt to build communication and partnership between families. Families may be invited to partner in choosing some of the materials to be shared, such as favorite books, examples of art or music relevant to the family and culture, as well as sight words presented in multiple languages. 

It would be my hope that by beginning with these steps, the family would feel welcomed, respected, appreciated and accepted. Continued communication with the family (and all families) would be important in making sure that this was not a superficial exercise, but rather one that represents the facility's values of anti-bias, inclusion, and cultural acceptance. 

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

     Several days ago I participated in my son's preschool Easter egg hunt and party. Always willing to help, I offered to help a couple of the other parents (mothers) hide the eggs in the playground. Two of the helpers were moms, and anther was an aunt of one of the children. After all the eggs were hidden and we were waiting for the kids to come out, one of the mothers asked where my son would be attending Kindergarten. I advised them that he was changing schools for this, and when asked, stated that his gender non-conformity would be more supported at the other school. Two moms gave me very questioning looks, so I elaborated, that my son enjoys wearing dresses, and does so with regularity, but that the current school has told him that this would not be acceptable (as it may be distracting, make him a target, etc). One mom said, after a pause, "Well, they don't really want any of the kids wearing dresses... you know for the playground and stuff" (though her child and the other 2 girls in the class were all wearing dresses that day and routinely do). I smiled, and said, "He may not even want to wear them next year, but if he does, I want him in an accepting environment that will support him". The aunt (who was, for lack of a better descriptor, "butch" in appearance) is nodding her head and showing approval. The other mom (sister of the aunt and silent until now), says, "I have a nephew who dressed up too. He's ten, so he doesn't do it anymore, but he did for a while. So maybe your son will grow out of it" in her most comforting and encouraging voice.
     Kids experiment with gender norms, roles, and clothing. This is a normal part of play and development. So her comment was not entirely off the mark, however, the message was very clear: anything outside of the gender norm is pathological and may be overcome. Interestingly, once the hunt began, the aunt found opportunities to align herself with my son, helping him find eggs, engaging him in conversation and encouragement, and taking a moment to sit and talk to me.
     In this instance, equity was diminished. My son was viewed as outside the norm, not quite right, and by extension, so was I. One mom, a couple weeks ago, suggested that maybe he does this because he's around me all the time, without a father in the picture, in effecting 'blaming' his gender expression and choices on me. In both instances I was hurt and angry. Part of me wanted to educate these moms on the falsity of their statements, and their invalidation of an entire group of people.. Another part of me, the part that won out, left it alone, kept the focus on the egg hunt, and has since smoldered silently, knowing that this is not the isolated opinion of one or two moms, but rather the representation of the greater population.
     Given more time, and a different environment, I may have found the energy to educate the women on normal childhood development, on the biological and external factors that can affect gender non-conformity, and on harm of their biased and prejudiced comments. Possibly this would have led, eventually, to greater equity within this small community. Possibly not. Possibly when society sees transgender or gender non-compliant individuals, not as threats to their own sexual identity and safety, but as people seeking to outwardly express their internal identity, equity can be effected. Getting over the bathroom debate would be a huge first step. The second step would be acknowledging the discrimination, prejudice and hate that transgender and gender-nonconforming individuals face daily, and acknowledging 'our' roles in this and the bases for our bias. Gender associated rights and biases, though,are extremely slow to change. Perhaps because they identify some insecurity within us.  However, history and other cultures clearly demonstrate that gender non-complaint people have always part a part of our world, and are deserving of the same respect, acceptance, and celebration that every other person deserves.

Microaggressions

     Last summer I attended a baseball game in Atlanta with my son, my best friend, and her daughter. It was "Mother Son" night at the Braves stadium, and we waited about an hour to do our little march around the field. During the course of our time in the stadium, we had time to fill, so we browsed the shops. One particular shop was primarily women's clothing and accessories. My son and Megan (my friend's 5 year old) were enamored with the  sparkly headbands, pink baseballs, and bedazzled accessories. The clerk approached us, and said, "Oh, those are expensive" in relation to a $12 dollar headband, and to my son, "Honey, there's nothing for you in here. But there's a boy's store down the way". My friend and I realized the double insult: clearly two women with two children must be a lesbian household, can't afford 'nice' things, and that boys should be not interested in pink, sparkly items.
     My friend and I talked later. She told me that this was the first time she really understood what my son and I go through. And that she was appalled, hurt, insulted, and downright angry. We were assumed to be partnered, and she felt the microaggressions (both verbal and behavioral) that are often brought against  gay parents. She also felt the microagressions that are inflicted upon a gender-creative family. Neither of us reacted in the situation, though I was sure to mention to the clerk, "My son just LOVES pink". Most of the conversation came later, with my son. As I once again affirmed for him that he can like whatever he likes, that sparkly things are pretty and lots of people like them, and no no one has the right to be mean to us about the things we like.
     After viewing the video presentation this week by Dr Sue, I found myself more cognizant of my interactions with others, in fact someone anxious about them. I feel myself second guessing every comment, scrutinizing it for possible microagressions, and fearing that my well-intentioned comments and compliments are being received as the clerks were to me. Are my interactions with those of diverse cultural backgrounds tinged by generations of stereotypes that I try oh so hard to fight against? Am I inadvertently causing harm to others and leaving them feeling insulted, debased, hurt or angry? How does one balance this caution with communication?
     I'm still working on it.
     But I'm more aware of it now. Not only through my own experiences, but through hearing the stories of others. And my hope is to find a way to teach my child thoughtful, caring communication, based in kindness, awareness, and respect for others.

Perspectives on Diversity and Culture: Asking around

This week I asked three different people: What are you definitions of culture and diversity? This must be a daunting question, because four people that I contacted via text AND email, have yet to respond. So, for the moment, we'll address the first (only) response I have and I'll amend this as they come rolling in. The following is the first response:

• "Culture is what is passed down to us through our heritage, like where our forefathers came from. Its the food, clothes, celebrations, and language that we're taught and grow up with." "Diversity is difference. It's the ways that we're different from the other people around us. You know, like race, gender, religion... differences in those make a group diverse." -14 year old Latino boy.

Interestingly, the young man who provided these definitions stuck primarily to the surface aspects of culture; namely food, clothing, celebrations. Language was the one departure from this, being an example of deep culture. Also interesting in his response was that culture is associated with heritage only, and not the aspects of his identity that he has grown into or developed on his own. It will be interesting to see if this is mirrored in the responses from others as well. 

Diversity was also limited to the more visible aspects of culture/identity. Missing were other elements that contribute to diversity such as ability/disability, language and dialect, SES, political affiliation, sexual identity, age, education, etc. 

What I found most interesting from this exercise is, potentially, people's reluctance to talk about culture and diversity. It may be something else entirely, that I have received so few responses, or it could potentially be that we have, through avoiding the topics, created a taboo or even a lack of ability to dialog about the topics of diversity and culture. We 'shush' our children when they make observations of difference and the message persists: "We don't talk about that", and then becomes, "We don't know how to talk about this". Which also means that people are likely paying little to no attention to their own cultural and diverse identities. 

As I continue to hound people, I will update this post, but as of nearly midnight Saturday morning, this is where we stand: with only the voice of a 14 year old Latino. Thank you, for your openness, honesty and courage to take a strike at these complex topics!

UPDATE: 3/26/17 9am EST:

• "Diversity is inclusion of a variety of different types of things, people, animals, etc. Culture is what shapes us, our surroundings, beliefs, traditions, religion." --67 yr old Caucasian female

What I thought was interesting about this one was that "inclusion" was used as part of the definition of diversity. Her definition of culture included more of the deep culture aspects than the first definition, but still excluded a number of deep culture aspects like ability/disability, gender identity, roles, etc. 

My first thought upon receiving these quotes was, "So diversity is what makes us different, and culture is what makes us similar", but the inclusive element in the diversity definition changed my understanding of her definition. It's almost like viewing concentric circles with self at the center, culture in the first circle around it, and diversity in the circle around that.

Hypothetical: A new world with only...

Given the hypothetical situation that a catastrophe has occurred and that my family is to be relocated to a very different country with only three personal items that reflect my family culture, what would I choose to bring?

First, and this may sound strange, but I would bring a book. "Elmer the Patchwork Elephant". It is a favorite of my son's, but is also the story of difference, self-acceptance, and appreciation of others. It's a book we have read many times, not just for the color pictures, but for the lesson that it imparts, and a reflection of my own values and beliefs, my culture.

Second, I would bring a photo album, as it is a depiction of our lives, a starting point for stories, memories, and lessons from our past. It in would be photos from our immediate and extended family. It is a record of not only our time together, but also a record of our culture in time.

I actually really struggle to identify a third item. Honestly, if we were being relocated for an undetermined amount of time, it feels as though it is the other culture that we should be learning about more than clinging to vestiges of a ravaged one. And, not being a huge fan at times of our own dominant culture, I'm not sure that this is something I would want to perpetuate. I don't have close ties to the cultures of my family's ancestry (Norwegian, Irish, and English), so items of this nature would not be important. The best I can suppose would be, yet again, books. So, a Kindle packed with classic literature (as a reflection of the culture historically) and stories that impart lessons that I want my child to learn would likely be third on the list.

Were I told that, upon arrival, only one item could be saved, I would likely feel quite naked, but in a sense liberated as well. I've moved a lot, given up most of my possessions at one time or another (moved across country with only what would fit in my Civic Hatchback at the time), and enjoyed the freedom of diving into a new place and reinventing myself a little along the way. However, that was never forced upon me, and never did a have a child to consider. No matter what item I choose to keep, it is going to be the sacred art of storytelling that carries on our culture. So, I would likely leave it to my son to choose, as he would be the one that would find the most connection to the item.

Doing this exercise revealed to me, once again, to power of literature and written word as a form of cultural identification. Literature provides a snapshot of culture in time, as well as a way to discuss values and beliefs that have served or not served the group. It also showed me what little ties I have to the dominant culture in many ways. Now, it's most likely that my reactions would be quite different where this event to actually occur, and who knows what I would "need", but having worked so long in hospice with the dying, I know that it is the stories and the memories that are most important in the end, for these are the ways that we construct our own realities and define ourselves, our families, and our culture.

Fingers crossed it's not tomorrow, but if it is, Elmer is going with us.

Reflecting on Research

     First, a huge thank you to each of my classmates who has challenged me to grow in my learning, stretched my assumptions, and shared valuable insights. It's been an interesting term both personally and academically, and I'm thankful, if a bit bruised, for the experience. In addition, thank you to Dr Todd who has provided helpful feedback and encouragement to myself and my peers throughout this term.
     Having taken Research Methods, Statistics, and Research Design courses in the (not too distant) past, I found myself pretty well prepared for this course. And while it was introduced to me in the past, getting a chance to focus on equity issues in research design, was a fairly new concept. I was familiar with power issues, and homogeneity, but was intrigued to learn about research and the deficit model. With the abundance of ethical standards and review board procedures involved in conducting research, it is hard to imagine that we continue to produce studies that reinforce potentially negative delineations between groups. It's certainly something that I will pay greater attention to as I read scholarly literature in the future.
     The greatest lesson that I learned (or had reinforced for me) this term was to approach research as you would a client: from a position of wonder, not expertise. While we may think that we have the answers, or desperately want our hypothesis to be supported, this mindset often leads to bias issues in research and potentially flawed results.
     My greatest challenges were personal. As the single mother of a very energetic 4 year old, my days are busy. Paying the bills involves a job, which I am thankfully able to do online after he goes to bed (around 8). Homework needs to find a space too, which is often either before or after the job. My days and nights have been stretched to their limit this term as I've had no additional care-giving support (my parents are vacationing). The past 8 weeks have reinforced for me that finding balance is a life long endeavor, and that priorities can shift from hour to hour, often in unexpected and even negative ways. We cope. We do our best. And we go on.
     Finally, my perceptions of early childhood education have been deepened this term. I appreciate the value of research specific to the field more so now than before. Previously, I believed that research in the ED field was primary secondary to psychology, sociology, and education. However, it is now clear that not only is there a place for this type of research, but a demand. I wonder though, how many in the field are choosing this route, and whether or not they are prepared for the rigors of research.
     Again, thank you to each of you who has contributed to the course this term. Eric, as always, it's been a pleasure and incredibly gratifying to read your work. Tequilla, it's been wonderful to gain insights from your posts and your blog. Traci and Tishae, it's been wonderful getting the additional perspectives that you have provided, particularly in the last 4 weeks. I wish you ALL the best in the coming terms and know that you will continue to do great things in the field.

International Research: Early Childhood Australia

     Early Childhood Australia is an organization committed to ensuring "quality, social justice, and equity" in the early childhood field. They are specifically dedicated to advocacy issues for children birth to eight years old, both in school and at home, as well as parent education and maternal and child health issues. In addition, they are committed to ensuring that "Young Aboriginal and Islander children are thriving and learning" (ECA, n.d.).
     One interesting advocacy point I found was the Jobs for Families Package Childcare Package  Bill. The bill aims to increase childcare subsidies for families and to increase the family salary income entitlement. Currently they anticipate challenges with the bill passing because it is tied to another bill. In effect, monies will be taken from one family program and given to another. The ECA does not support the tying of the tow bills, and is advocating for change with this. 
     Two other sections of the website that I found interesting were the Parent Resources link and the Start Early link. The Parent Resources link offers information on health and nutrition, separation anxiety, sleeping, and transitions to school. It is clear, concise, and presented in such a way that those with or without early childhood backgrounds are able to benefit from. The Start Early link provides short online courses for childhood professionals. The modules are free and include topics relating to "Respectful Relations, explore issues around Gender, Respect and Identity, and encourage Father Inclusive Practice" (ECA, n.d.).  While some information is likely to be geographically specific, there is also information that could help inform practice for educators around the globe. The three current modules are offered until March 2017, so take advantage of them now!

The Positive Side of Reseach with Children

     The potential for risk and harm exists as a possibility in most any research. However, without research, positive change, knowledge growth, and new ideas would be hard to come by and even harder to share with others.
     My cousin recently received her doctorate in Speech Language Pathology and works as a researcher and professor at Penn State and Boston Children's Hospital. Her primary area of interest is language pathology and technology. Her most recent research has explored the ways in which social media aids individuals with speech language pathologies, and ways in which augmentative and assertive communication (AAC) can and is being used by these individuals to enhance their communications with others. 
     Her current study is qualitative and provides examples of how social media use with AAC can drive clinical practice as well as research. In speaking with her recently, she was excited to share stories of how children who have severely compromised communication skills are able to interact within the social media venue. This creates opportunities for connection, social-emotional development, and shared learning.
     As social media continues to grow, it presents opportunities for communication and connection in new and exciting ways. Her research is helping to identify ways in which AAC does and can continue to aid in children's connections with others.

Attached is the link to her research poster: Engagement in Social Media Environments for Individuals who use Augmentative and Adaptive Communication.